Re: On Getting Per Diem

Subject: Re: On Getting Per Diem
From: Ned Bedinger <doc -at- edwordsmith -dot- com>
To: linda_sims -at- vanguard -dot- com
Date: Fri, 03 Nov 2006 15:56:02 -0800

linda_sims -at- vanguard -dot- com wrote:

Ned Bedinger wrote on 11/03/2006 03:13:57 PM:

Al Geist wrote:
Ned Bedinger wrote:
Richard Lewis wrote:
Hi all:
<snip>
BTW, I've ordered a forensic audio pack (the big one that includes a genny-wine white lab coat and a certificate suitable for framing). So when/if I get any good at de-mystifying such VMs, and if I don't discover any offers for dream jobs in my backlog of unintelligble VMs, I was thinking I could go into business.

Dude! Sign me right up for that service!
Done! Uh, we did discuss the matter of my retainer fee, didn't we?
I even bought a (fairly expensive) digital answering machine in the hopes that the sound quality would improve enough for me to decipher some of these messages.
Wait a minute. You aren't thinking of stealing my big idea? Well you can just forget it, cuz I already beat your price. That's right, I'm giving a special price to everyone, and it is <MARQUEE>ROCK BOTTOM!</MARQUEE> I can afford to do such because I have embraced the economies of outsourcering. No hocus-pocus here folks, I have just inked a deal with an elite group of message decoders who just happen to speak many languages including the one your message is probably in. They'll be doing the hard ones for me. I expect 110% successful demystification. Don't be fooled, get your nickel's worth. Honest.
Sadly, not only has it not helped the mystery accent recruiters,
There you go. Save a bundle, send it a moi.
it has ALSO not helped the English-as-a-first-language speakers who, apparently, aren't speaking into their receiver, have a mouthful of marbles, or are speaking wery, wery softly. I can't tell you how many times I've called a friend back and told them I needed to know what they wanted because I couldn't understand their message.
Have you considered having your ears checked? If you ever fired cannons or kept macaws, that could result in partial deafness...
It's frustrating, is what it is. I even went to an ENT to see if maybe it was a problem with _my_ hearing. Nope, he says. Your hearing is almost perfect.
Oh dear. I guess you'll just have to pay someone to decode them. Like me :-)
*sigh*
Now now. *pat* *pat* *pat*. I'll tend to yours first, as soon as they send me the right sized lab coat.
Oh, good, it's time to go home. Happy weekend, folks!
You can rest easy knowing Ed Wordsmith and the Elite Decoders are on the job.



P.S. *pssst* anyone know where i can contact any elite decoders, cheep?
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References:
Re: On Getting Per Diem: From: linda_sims

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