Coworker who can't say no

Subject: Coworker who can't say no
From: "Kevin Elmore" <kelmore -at- gmail -dot- com>
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2008 10:54:52 -0500

>>> Some weeks back, I'd reached out to the List for help in dealing with a
socially inept developer who is the subject matter expert on one of my
writing projects. This is an individual who kept pressing me to bring my
sons to his favorite hang-out, a local role-playing game store, pressing
me to the point where I began questioning (and worrying about) his
motive.<<<

Interestingly, I took a sabbatical from this list at about the time
that the discussion about this was winding down. Now that I have time
to start reading the digests again, I'm a little amused by how the
first digest I read contains this follow-up. It's almost as if I
never stopped reading!

And as someone who happens to share your coworker's hobby, I'm sorry
that you have to endure such crap. I know many people in the hobby,
and there are quite a few who are socially awkward (somehow, I just
knew you were talking about role-playing games, even though you never
stated it in your original message). So, it's embarrassing for me
what your coworker is doing. Although, knowing what this hobby is, I
think it's more likely that his motive is not sinister; rather, he
probably holds the hobby to such high esteem that he looks down upon
all other hobbies (especially those of the jock persuasion). Of
course, that doesn't entirely rule out sinister motives; without
knowing the details, I can't rule either way.

But, even if it is just some misplaced chauvinism on his part, that
still does not excuse him from harassing you. Your response was quite
appropriate. It is my hope that he is just a lost puppy, and he'll
leave you alone and mend his broken heart in his own way. Of course,
psychos are everywhere, so as Bonnie points out, keep an eye open.
I've seen some crazy stalkers, even in the normally mild-mannered nerd
kingdom of role-playing games. Just to reiterate Bonnie's concerns,
keep an eye out. Keep ALL of his e-mails, in case there is some
underlying menace (though with the impersonal nature of e-mail,
anything can sound menacing).

I suspect that he'll drop off the radar, and he may even realize that
salesmanship is not his strong point when trying to recruit new blood
into his hobby. But in today's world, never dismiss anyone as
harmless.

Kevin
A little paranoid
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