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Hello, all. Thank you very much for the feedback, it's been very helpful.
(1) I made a glaring mistake in embedding a subordinate clause like I did.
(2) This part of the document is written in the 3rd person because the it is not actually addressing the end-user. The reader is a report developer, almost certainly distinct from the final report viewer - "the user."
I am really grateful for the feedback that "cycle through" is perfectly acceptable. It's a nice ego stroke on a rainy day. I also appreciate the feedback as to why it might not be the best word (thank you, Leonard). Rather than go to bat over this particular phrase (you gotta pick your battles, right?) I will use one of the alternatives suggested.
Thank you all very much! This is a pretty cool place.
- Ryan
-----Original Message-----
From: Porrello, Leonard [mailto:lporrello -at- illumina -dot- com]
Sent: Friday, October 14, 2011 11:45 AM
To: 'Dossy Shiobara'; Haber, Ryan
Cc: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: Synonym for "cycle through"
Reminiscent of "power cycle" (as a verb, as in "power cycle your Droid"), "cycle through" denotes a process one implements from beginning to end without stopping along the way. This, however, is not how Dossy interpreted your text. That leaves me confused about what you are trying to say. My problem isn't so much with "cycle through" as it is with the possibility that "cycle through" isn't what you really mean.
Apart from that issue, I would support Dossy's "suggestion" that you rewrite so as to avoid using a complex sentence with the dependent clause embedded in the middle of it.
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Dossy Shiobara
Sent: Friday, October 14, 2011 8:17 AM
To: Haber, Ryan
Cc: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: Synonym for "cycle through"
"The InfoWindow opens when a marker or bubble is tapped. It has a black
background with white text. When multiple markers are close to each
other, the InfoWindow will also include arrows for navigating to the
desired marker. The report metrics are displayed in the InfoWindow in
the order that they are listed on the report."
If the ask here is to use a more buzzwordy term, you could try
"paginate" instead, e.g. "When multiple markers are close to each other,
the InfoWindow will also include arrows for pagination between the
nearby markers."
On 10/14/11 10:57 AM, Haber, Ryan wrote:
> In a document I have written:
>
> "The InfoWindow, which opens when a marker or bubble is tapped, has a black background with white text. If multiple markers are close to each other, the InfoWindow includes arrows to let the user cycle through those markers. The report metrics are displayed in the InfoWindow in the order that they are listed on the report."
>
> I am told that "cycle through" isn't appropriate to technical writing, but can't think of a better phrase, though one must exist.
>
> Any ideas?
--
Dossy Shiobara | "He realized the fastest way to change
dossy -at- panoptic -dot- com | is to laugh at your own folly -- then you http://panoptic.com/ | can let go and quickly move on." (p. 70)
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