For those of us who DO like a giggle every now and again......

[Sue Jones <suej -at- ANNAMAY -dot- BBN -dot- HP -dot- COM>]

For those of you who have had the personality/sense of humour liposuction
treatment....you can delete this without reading any further....


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     A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager
     were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland.  They were driving down
     a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed.
     The car careered almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the
     crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along
     the mountainside.  The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a
     problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no
     brakes.  What were they to do?

     "I know", said the Department Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose
     a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a
     process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical
     Problems, and we can be on our way."

     "No, no", said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long,
     and besides, that method has never worked before.  I've got my Swiss
     Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's
     braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."

     "Well", said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we
     should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."

     Sound like anyone you know?

                           ********************


     Q. Is Windows a virus?

     A. No, Windows is not a virus.

     Here's what viruses do:

     1) They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.

     2) Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system
     as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.

     3) Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay,
     Windows does that, too.

     4) Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with
     valuable programs and systems.  Sigh...  Windows does that, too.

     5) Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is
     too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.  Yup, that's true
     with Windows, too.

     Maybe Windows IS a virus.

     Nope!  There is a difference!

     Viruses are well supported by their authors, are frequently updated,
     and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

     So there!  Windows is NOT a virus.



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