Contracting: for the Robust Only

Subject: Contracting: for the Robust Only
From: Maury <alsacien -at- IBM -dot- NET>
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 1997 14:11:17 +0200

Fellow TECHWR-Lers,

I follow the comments on contracting with interest, not only because I
worked as a contractor for quite some time, but also because in our field,
everyone has to choose whether to go the route of contractor or staff
writer when a project closes, a company ceases to exist, or other such
events that are common in high-tech. None of us are ever that far away from
becoming contractors.

When I first worked as a contractor, I was particularly energetic, so I
found the bustle stimulating. I rather enjoyed the unorthodox life style I
could maintain during that period. However, all that ended when my brother
died in 1996. There were many aspects of his death that affected me very
severely, and while I couldn't afford to stay inactive for long periods of
time, I probably should have. I experienced the most terrifying spells of
exhaustion and fatigue that brought me close to collapsing any number of
times. I wrongly assumed I could resume as I had before, but the tragedy
had taken more out of me than I could have ever realized. It was only
later, when I started missing deadlines because I couldn't give that extra
push that I used to give to get the work done, that I knew that I had to
end it.

I've since returned to a salaried position. The adjustment was not easy,
but I'm able to function normally again. I still get calls for contract
work, which I politely decline. I know that I can't go back to it again.

Nobody can know how a personal tragedy will affect him/her until it
happens. When it does, backup is necessary. Maybe it was just my experience
that was particularly harsh, but I would not return to contracting because
I now realize just how fragile an existence it was. Aside from all the
bureaucracy that is required to end a self-employed status, which I have
yet to complete, I just don't have any memories to treasure now.

- Maury

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