SOLUTION: The TECHWR-L Server problem

[Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- YAHOO -dot- COM>]

WATCH OUT, Goofy stuff below!

I have the TECHWR-L server problem solved, here's how it works.

Membership is free and hosted on its own server.  A DSL connection, WinNT
Server, and a $2500 box would solve the problem for about $1000 a month. Of
course, we'll have to debate the partition format for the next 20 years.  I
am
firmly for using the oldest version of FAT we can find.
Becoming a member is easy.  Simply fill out a web form, submit it, and then
send in some blood samples.  Potential members are then spanked with a large
wooden paddle and required to make love to a color printer.  Afterwards,
they
must submit a writing sample and oath to uphold the sanctity and decency of
the
TECHWR-L board.  This is followed with being ignored for a few weeks, then
an
elaborate ceremony at a church where you must eat a mound of clay.

Next, rather than kick people off the list for being abusive, off-topic, or
just devoid of any intelligence, we fine them.  Here's the list of fines:

$2 - Each dirty word used, including F**k, s**t, motherf***er, c**ksucker,
pu**y, d**khead, j*zzbag, a**hole, j**k-off, and communist.
$5 - Blathering about your personal life.
$5 - Flagrant use of the word "paradigm" "utilize" or "information mapping"
$10 - General idiocy.
$10 - Flaming in public.
$10 - Enjoying the dynamic power of Word 97
$15 - Asking for advice for something you should already know.
$20 - Using the word "write" intending to be clever. Such as Write Stuff,
Write
Way, Write Solution, etc.
$25 - General selfishness.
$25 - Mentioning your genitals.
$35 - Discussing how you are not paid enough.
$50 - Sending list members annoying spam, dead animals, or curses involving
rashes.
$100 ? Popping a cap in that cracker?s ass.
$500 - General sexism, racism, homophobia, or transgenerization.
$1000 - Demonstrating a inability to comprehend the fact that the universe
was
not created for your own personal enjoyment.
$5000 - Me too.
$10000 - The mere mention of anything to do with spaces after a period.
$10000 - Posting something funny.
$20000 - Debating which is better Frame or Word.
$100000 - Eating hamsters.
$100000 - Two words: Style Guides

Likewise, rewards will be handed out for the following achievements:

$100 - Saying something clever.
$500 - Having firm thighs and buttocks while eating a low-fat, high in
fiber,
non-hamster diet.
$1000 - Solving the Mysteries of HTML.
$5000 - Coming up with a new way to make engineers chill out.
$10000 - Conquering space and time.
$25000 - Making that damn red X go away!

I think that should just about do it. This list has always been a wonderful
source of text in my mailbox.  Nothing generates text in quite the splendid
way
TECHWR-L does.  I am looking forward to years of more text coming to my
mailbox.

Have a nice day.

Andrew Plato

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 From ??? -at- ??? Sun Jan 00 00:00:00 0000=