What to do about a recommendation?

[Kevin Amery]

On 10/25/06, Ned Bedinger <doc at edwordsmith.com> wrote:
>
> I used to work with a writer who spent the first hour or two of every
> day chatting. I resented having this person in my workplace, on my team.
> My strategy for meeting deadlines is to work, head-down, nose to the
> stone. After a year of this, we finally had a team-building exercise,
> and I learned that this person had been schooled at Montessori, where
> kids are encouraged to experience learning not just by doing, but also
> by going around to see what the other kids are doing. This person's work
> style was as ingrained and natural as my work ethic is to me, and at the
> end of the day we both made our deadlines, so I learned to loosen up,
> eventually joining the morning chat once in a while.
>
> I don't mean that the OP should learn to ignore direction or send rude
> emails, but as there are two sides to the problem, it behooves us to
> suspend judgement. I agree with Gene that a review with the contractor
> of the work is a professional thing to do, for the good of the workplace
> if not for the profession. I would add that it should be done in a
> constructive way to allow for the possibility that the 'problem' can be
> recast as a learning experience for both of you.
>
> Regards,
>
> Ned Bedinger
> Ed Wordsmith Technical Communications
> doc at edwordsmith.com
>
I can vouch for this as well, from the other direction. I started a new
full-time position just under two months ago - at first, everything seemed
to be going well, but after a few weeks the other team members started
becoming distant and I couldn't tell why. Eventually, my manager and I had a
talk in which it came out that everyone else on the team a) thought I was
acting as though they didn't know anything, and b) felt that I was invading
their space.

What my manager and I determined was that it came down to very different
communication styles. I was completely unaware of how my words and actions
were being perceived. I certainly didn't *mean* to suggest that my
co-workers had nothing of value to contribute (quite the opposite, in fact),
but until the talk with my manager I really didn't see that that was the
problem. While the talk was not comfortable for either of us, it *was* very
helpful and in the end we were both glad we had it. I have since modified my
approach, and relations with the rest of the team have improved
substantially.
So on behalf of the writer in question, I would recommend at the least an
exit interview in which you communicate what problems you had. Some of us
really do need to be whacked over the head before we "get it."

-- 
Until next time...

Kevin Amery