How would you revise?
Ned Bedinger
doc at edwordsmith.com
Thu Jul 19 13:25:58 MDT 2007
Ben wrote:
> Without any further context, how would you revise the following?
If I may assume that the author usually writes instructions this way,
and that the user is qualified to know what these instructions are about...
> When a loop is running, once the first loop is completed, the lines in the
> loop are not editable anymore.
I think the original writer was deliberately ordering ALL of the
qualifications before the instruction.
I think this is a good practice, because it prevents the user from
reading and executing an instruction before finishing reading all the
conditions that apply.
This inhibiting effect works best when the writer applies the rule of
order consistently.
My revision: "When a loop is running, you
> cannot edit the lines in the loop after the first loop is completed."
You've undone the author's effort at consistency.
>
> Or revise this sentence: "For submitted sequences, all lines are editable."
> My revision: "You can edit all lines for submitted sequences."
The author does indeed appear to practice safe ordering of instructions
and conditions.
> Your thoughts?
I think the instructions are best left alone, apart from the felicitous
insights that other responses have provided you.
Hope this helps.
Ned Bedinger
doc at edwordsmith.com
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