'Step Up to Leader' Post > Tangential Question?

[Geoff Hart]

Agnes Starr wondered: <<What do you do if you ask an employee to do  
something and they refuse to do it? Suppose for example you request  
an item via email and the subordinate shoots back and email that says  
"No, I am not going to do it that way. "  - and it happens  
repeatedly. Or you make requests and they continually ignore them,  
and you know they are doing it intentionally to be defiant.>>

It's always possible you've simply got a bad egg, and the end result  
will be that you have to get rid of them. But a wise old manager once  
explained to me that employee-supervisor conflicts are never one- 
sided, that the manager has to share some of the responsibility, and  
that a really good manager can usually find a way to bring an  
employee around. (Me? I was always an indifferently good manager, but  
I seemed to have a skill for helping other managers solve their  
problems. Go figure!)

The first step is to find out why they're resisting. Often, you'll  
find out that they have a very good reason you haven't considered,  
even if that reason is only "your way is no better than my way". That  
latter response is a clue to something important: it means that  
you're falling into the control freak trap. Employees are most likely  
to resist your requests and grow resentful if they get the perception  
you want them to always do things your way, even if their way is  
acceptable.

As a manager, you need to learn to recognize when that is happening,  
take a step back, and let the employee "win" sometimes. When you show  
employees that you respect their intelligence and let them  
demonstrate their worth, you establish mutual respect. The end result  
may not be as good as it would be if they did things your way, but if  
it's good enough, that's sometimes an acceptable situation. Once you  
establish the dialogue and respect, you gain leverage to get the  
other person to become willing to occasionally try things your way.

Sometimes the problem is neither you nor the employee, but rather a  
toxic or difficult work situation. That loads stress on the  
employee's back, and makes them much more fragile and resentful: when  
you know that you have no power to shape your own actions, you tend  
to seize any opportunities for power that you can grasp, no matter  
how petty they may be. If you're lucky, you can find ways to relieve  
some of that stress, thereby making the employee more willing to work  
with you than against you. And sometimes you can't, and all you can  
do is remind the person that you're in this bad situation together  
and need to work together to avoid making it worse.

<<If you insist, you sound like you are pulling rank like "I am the  
boss and you must do what I say.">>

If you're certain you're right, then it really does come down to  
that. But always seek a reality check from someone whose opinion you  
respect: few of us every truly understand how others see us, and the  
emotions raised by a conflict can seriously cloud your judgment. Once  
you're sure, act like you're sure: "OK, I've considered your opinion  
and discussed it with a few other people. Bottom line: You need to do  
it my way this time. If you're not willing to follow my lead, I'll be  
happy to help you find a good job elsewhere, but you can't keep  
working here."

<<If you go to your boss with the problem - unless it has gone on for  
a while, they will say you should handle it before escalating it, or  
at least that is what I was told.>>

That's always true. You're employed as a manager because they believe  
you can manage your staff. Demonstrate that you cannot manage them,  
and they'll eventually lose faith that you belong in that job. You  
may end up needing their administrative support (e.g., if you don't  
have authority to fire staff), but you should be able to convince  
them you've done everything possible before it comes to that.

<<If you ignore it, the message gets out that you are a pushover and  
a chicken-little supervisor/manager.>>

Never ignore it. Problems must be solved, not swept under the rug.  
And sometimes the problem is you, not the employee, and the only way  
you'll know is to look into the problem, possibly with advice from a  
friend who's not afraid to tell you the truth about yourself.  
Sometimes the problem is the work, and investigating the problem will  
help you find ways to mitigate the solution.

<<Writing them up  seems too harsh to do so on the first offense, or  
even second. If you do write them up, how soon do you do so?>>

If you've done due diligence and are convinced that you're right,  
then you sit down with the employee immediately, explain that this  
disobedience cannot continue and that you are writing this situation  
up and adding it to their permanent file. Give them a copy of what  
you've written. Explain that you have a three-strikes rule (or  
whatever your policy is), and that if two more such reports end up on  
their record, you'll initiate dismissal proceedings*.

* For some more detailed thoughts: http://www.geoff-hart.com/ 
resources/2002/employees.htm

Then file the report. But don't stop there: if you want to solve a  
problem, you need to specify what you're going to do to solve it,  
make sure the employee understands this, and begin working to solve  
it. With the employee's help, create a list of criteria for the  
problems and how you expect to solve them, and make it objective as  
possible: you must be able to prove what is going on. Set dates for  
reappraisals so you can track progress towards the goals. If the  
employee helps create the criteria, you've established a dialogue  
again, and given them some empowerment (i.e., the sense that they  
have some say in defining their fate). If not, do it anyway and make  
it clear that the door is always open to discuss revisions. Then add  
your criteria to the personnel file too.

I don't have huge amounts of faith in the Human Resources department  
(many bad experiences over the years), but sometimes they really are  
experts and can provide a reality check and good advice on how to  
proceed. Don't hesitate to ask!


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-- Geoff Hart
ghart at videotron.ca / geoffhart at mac.com
www.geoff-hart.com
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