RE: HUMOR: I Need Advice

[Dannette Thompson <dthomps -at- foundationsoft -dot- com>]

well, if nothing else it's d*** funny!

-----Original Message-----
From: Andrew Plato [mailto:intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com]
Sent: Thursday, November 02, 2000 3:45 PM
To: TECHWR-L
Subject: HUMOR: I Need Advice


WARNING: The following message contains scathing satire. If you are unable
to
process such information, please see your local sales associate about
obtaining
a clue. You can also visit our web site and obtain a 90-day evaluation
version
of a personality. Please note, the FDA has not approved our product for use
on
those individuals with chronic humorlessness and AlGore's disease. Thank
you.  


Hi everybody,

I am considering thinking for myself. I realize this is a very new concept
for
many technical writers accustom to seeking approval for every minute detail
of
their lives. Perhaps some of you can help me.

1. When was the last time you actually thought for yourself? What was it
like?
Did you get a rash? (I did!) 

2. When thinking for yourself do you fret and worry that there isn't proper
functional group consensus? Do you conduct extensive customer and client
focus
group meetings to ensure your thinking is properly oriented to the needs and
desires of people who just want some more free coffee and waxy pastries.

3. What are the proper interface and functional metrics for thinking for
yourself?  We need to make sure that self-guided thinking is giving us the
proper return on investment.  

4. Does STC have rules or guidelines about how technical writers should
think
and be able to reason out a problem?  We are considering implementing a
comprehensive Thought Mapping system using BrainCrusher 2000. What success
has
anybody had with this personality extraction system?  

5. Lastly, could you just do all my work for me?  I am really not sure what
to
do, so I was thinking I'll just send my work here and you guys can do it for
me
while I go take a class in Advanced Theoretical Analysis of Comprehension
Communicative Theory and Electronic Whateverism. It would really be a help
for
us. We're all really sick of dealing with these "technical" things. They
just
ruin our schedule of attending meetings, forming committees, and going to
trade
shows. 

Thanks everybody. I really appreciate all your help. I'm not sure how I
could
ever be the writer I am not without your help.

Seth Slothgawker
Insensitive Software Services.

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Sponsored by SOLUTIONS, Conferences and Seminars for Communicators 
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