Word Choice/Ordering

Subject: Word Choice/Ordering
From: "Hegarty, Alan" <Alan -dot- Hegarty -at- sema-telecoms -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Mon, 18 Dec 2000 16:37:38 +0100

Greetings TECHWR_Lers,

The below-described language hang-up comes out of the trenches of our
localization team, and a colleague put the spot light on asking what i
thought of Version 1. Mostly, I didn't have a problem with it, except for,
well, this 'not overdue amount' does not ring so kosher in my ears...., but
after hacking through the alternatives, in worse case, version 1 could be
acceptable but there might also be a better variation, version 2 as an
alternative.

Context:

This text/information is smaller entry field window found in the GUI of a
larger 'Core Data' page, containing customers' profiles and consists of two
lines, the first with two entries, the second with four. It will serve as a
basis for translation in 8 other languages (thank God, it's not my job) and
well it should serve to give the client/customer a clear picture of their
account situation (on paper) and not a muddled one, as well as providing
customer service (online) with a clear picture of the client's account when
receiving "What's my account doing"-calls.

Which of the two formulations do your ears and understanding like best?

Input appreciated. Thanks in advance.... p.s. Should the response be SO
overwhelmingly interesting, I'll even hack out a summary of some sort

-Alan



Version 1:

Total unpaid amount Not overdue amount
273,58 85,60

Overdue amounts
1-30days 31-60days 61-90days 90+days
120,53 67,45

Version 2:

Total unpaid amount Amount not overdue
273,58 85,60

Amounts overdue
1-30days 31-60days 61-90days 90+days
120,53 67,45










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