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Subject:RE: Wanted: BAD Writing From:"Gary S. Callison" <huey -at- interaccess -dot- com> To:"TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com> Date:Wed, 19 Mar 2003 17:05:53 -0600 (CST)
Last night, after the dinner plans fell through, we realize at 2AM that we
are quite hungry. Now, at 2AM in Annandale Virginia, the options are
pretty limited. There's a diner, a Denny's, a nice korean restaurant, and
a 24-hour McDonalds. Not wanting to sit down and wait for food, we opt
for the McDonalds. Driving up, I first notice that the delivery truck is
blocking the drive-in lane, but as I get up to the menu board, I see a
handwritten sign scotch taped to it. It says:
YES, WE ARE OPEN.
<---- COME INSIDE
As a James Burke might say if he were from the rural south of the US, "No
fool he, the crafty software-manual-writin'-guy", I park the car. I get
out. I walk to the door. It is locked.
I walk to the next door. Locked. Door #3? Locked.
I catch the eye of a woman inside. She shakes her head at me. I walk over
to the menu board, remove the handwritten sign, and put it up to the
window in the international sign langauge gesture for "WTF, over?" She
points to the other side of the building. My wife, at this point, says
"Let's just go", but at this point, I'm on a mission. I'm going to get a
damn cheeseburger if I have to drive the car through the picture window
to get it.
I walk around to the other side of the building. Guess what? The door is
locked. Har har! Like you expected any different? This is beginning to
feel more and more like some sort of surreal vaudeville routine I've
fallen into. I'm walking away in disgust as the woman sticks her head out
of the drive-thru window. "Sir? Sir!".
Right. So I get back in the car, drive the wrong way through the alley, do
a messy four-point turn in front of the drive-thru window, and order a #2
and a #5. Frawress Wictory.
She got the order wrong, and the coke was flat, but at that point I really
didn't expect anything different. I went home and made burritos and
spanish rice, and felt confident that I had a slam-dunk entry in the
"What's the worst sign you've seen lately?" contest. Here you go:
YES, WE ARE OPEN.
<---- COME INSIDE
--
Huey
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