Re: Word in 2010

["Kevin Amery" <kevindamery -at- gmail -dot- com>]

You sure it isn't Friday yet?

(Cool post)

On 5/8/07, Chris Borokowski <athloi -at- yahoo -dot- com> wrote:
> It is the year 2010.
>
> A grey haze covers the landscape of shattered
> buildings and battered industrial wreckage. Distant
> gunfire can be heard with the erratic cadence of
> chirping birds, which are now extinct.
>
> It started so innocently.
>
> The dominant word processing program of the day,
> Microsoft Word, had always been accused of "feature
> creep." Each time a new paradigm or trend made the
> rounds at the Microsoft coffee bar, it got added to
> Word. It was innocent at first, with HTML and e-mail
> functions and some formatting, but eventually it got
> out of control.
>
> Word became a structured documentation single sourcing
> authoring tool (sdssat) and then expanded into CAD,
> social networking, and TCP/IP diagnostics. At this
> point, it commanded seventy percent of the worldwide
> market... and it kept growing. Soon it had a 3D
> shooter, a database engine, and became a full
> development environment. Shortly after that, video and
> still image editing. Within two years, all software as
> we know it ceased to exist. Every function of a
> computer was a plug-in to Microsoft Word, even the
> operating system, code-named Microsoft Genghis.
>
> Software developers were known to suicide when their
> Word licenses expired, knowing that they could not
> work until they spent 72 hours on hold with the
> Microsoft helpline. As Word expanded into tax
> preparation software, personal budgeting and stock
> management, they would lose their life's savings in an
> afternoon if the license key expired or a pirate copy
> of Word (now totalling 16 TB of data) was found in the
> neighborhood. People stopped watching television and
> spent their time with the Live Channel content in
> Microsoft Word.
>
> As the situation got worse, government first became
> helpless, and then was simply swallowed as it became
> another Word plug-in (MS Total Control). From space,
> it seemed a grey cancer had reached out with its
> tendrils and infiltrated every continent, every single
> aspect of life on earth. The parking meters ran on
> Microsoft Word. The Space Shuttle was controlled by
> the Word spellchecker. The President was created by
> Word's 3D character animator. All human life was
> enslaved.
>
> Unit TD321-M, stumbling over the broken concrete of a
> radioactive wasteland, took a momentary pause. "Base
> Camp, this is TD321-M, taking aspiration break." The
> smoothly synthesized voice responded in even cadence:
> "You have 21 seconds... 20... 19..."
>
> TD321-M was a Word technician, like every other
> employee on the planet, but he was only a Word
> technician level seven, which meant he was qualified
> only to sort through debris for metal that could be
> recycled to feed the MS Word war machine (Word had, a
> year previous, declared war against Asia and the
> Middle East simultaneously, since it was more
> efficient to fight a two-front war if one considered
> the office supplies costs). "My life is just about
> over," grumbled the despondent TD321-M, kicking a
> large chunk of concrete with a booted foot.
>
> As the rumble of its rolling exit faded out, he turned
> around to seek his next target, when the barrel of a
> rifle blocked his path. "Terrorebels!" he gasped. He
> seized his radio, "BaseCamp, I--" but was cut off in a
> blast of gunfire. TD321-M looked down to see his radio
> in pieces.
>
> "Come with us, or you're doomed," said one of the
> outlandish figures before him. Dressed in a camouflage
> of rags and discarded Apple equipment, the terrorebel
> like his cohorts was filthy and heavily armed. These
> dissidents camped at the fringes of modern society and
> struck violently against the dominion of Microsoft
> Word. Years of warfare had conditioned them to be
> heartless, and the rumors flying around Microsoft Word
> of Warcraft had them executing prisoners.
>
> "I can't," said TD321-M. "I've got Microsoft Word
> Media Player implanted in my ear. If I leave the Word
> empire, I will be remote-detonated."
>
> "It's OK," said the second terrorebel. "We can install
> Linux on it, and you will be free from remote
> detonation, unless you get pwned." He waved to the
> rear of what TDM321-M now saw was a line of
> terrorebels. "Hey Gary, we need an installation here."
> He picked up his rifle. "So long and good luck."
>
> "But... where are you going?"
>
> The terrorebel turned with a smirk. "The great
> weakness of Word is that it is backward-compatible. We
> found a wrecked ship on the coast of Indiana, and it
> had a 1996 computer... with the first known Word macro
> virus. We've found a back way in through the
> ventilation shafts and we're going to blow this Word
> into oblivion."
>
> "But when you format the great Word hard disk, what
> will be left of our society?"
>
> "Who cares?" said the terrorebel. "I'm so bored with
> this I could go for living in caves and eating roast
> sabertooth." A shout of assent came from the line.
>
> Gary, a short rotund man who was sweating profusely,
> had attached two leads to the implanted protrusion in
> TD321-M's ear. "All we need to do is TFTP over the new
> ROM image, and we can bootstrap a LILO hybrid, and
> you'll be good as new..."
>
> It seemed to TD321-M that he had been there for hours.
> "Oh, please hurry," he said. "They detonate after two
> hours of no signal!"
>
> "That's probably one hour," Gary grumbled. "Daylight
> savings happens at Christmas this year."
>
> Suddenly the first terrorebel came running back.
> "We've got the virus in, and Word has fallen! That's
> the good news... the bad news is that now spammers are
> ruling our new technocracy, and we're late for our
> required 18 hours of porn watching and Viagra-buying."
>
> "Snap out of it man," screamed another terrorebel.
> "Can't you see it's just a new guise of Word... or
> whatever evil was Word... that controlled Bill
> Gates... could it be Satan?"
>
> "Uh oh," said Gary.
>
> "What?" said TD321-M and the terrorebels in unison.
>
> "Your remote detonator is older Dell hardware. Linux
> can't find a driver," said Gary, putting earplugs in
> his ears. "There's nothing I can do until someone
> codes one up, which isn't likely since this is an
> older model. Good luck pal."
>
> "Bomb!" howled the terrorebels, taking cover. As
> TD321-M staggered back over the rocks, he heard a
> voice in his ear, counting down the seconds of his
> life, while images of genital extensions, making money
> fast and discount OEM software scrolled across the
> grey, forbidding sky.
>
>
>
>
> --- "Hickling, Lisa (TOR)"
> <lhickling -at- Express-Scripts -dot- com> wrote:
>
> > I read that the OP is wondering whether MS Word will
> > provide at least
> > some content+delivery functions in the near future
> > so that smaller TW
> > shops with limited budgets can have a low cost
> > option for single
> > sourcing.
>
> (Yes, Microsoft-style, with SharePoint, inevitably.)
>
>
> User Interface design blog
> http://user-advocacy.blogspot.com/
> Code::Design::UI::Consulting
> http://www.dionysius.com/
>
>
>
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-- 
Until next time...

Kevin Amery
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Create HTML or Microsoft Word content and convert to Help file formats or 
printed documentation. Features include support for Windows Vista & 2007 
Microsoft Office, team authoring, plus more.
http://www.DocToHelp.com/TechwrlList

Now shipping: Help &amp; Manual 4 with RoboHelp(r) import! New editor,
full Unicode support. Create help files, web-based help and PDF in up
to 106 languages with Help &amp; Manual: http://www.helpandmanual.com

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