Re: Repeat the verb?

Subject: Re: Repeat the verb?
From: "Kaye Adkins" <kadkins -at- missouriwestern -dot- edu>
To: <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:56:20 -0500

I vote for dropping the comma and repeating the modal. I'd repeat the modal for a) clarity and b) a nice parallelism/rhythm in a lengthy sentence.

One other question--In operations/compliance documentation that I worked on for a bank, the word "Bank" was always capitalized. Was this an idiosyncracy of that institution or is this industry practice? (I was told it is industry practice.)

Kaye Adkins


>>> Nancy Allison <maker -at- verizon -dot- net> 4/22/2008 10:12 AM >>>
Please note: a bulleted list is not permissible in this document. It's not the style. And, because the document is describing complex regulatory requirements and relationships, sentences tend to be dense and full. I rewrite the worst, and I consider this sentence to be borderline, but I'm going to leave it as is. There's too much else to do on the doc in the time I have.

Having provided that context, I ask you this: if you had to incorporate the following sentence as is (and not break it into two sentences, or a bulleted list, or anything else that a reasonably talented tech writer would immediately do), which version would you use? And, please tell me if you would add or remove any punctuation:

---The bank should have clear standards for the collection and modification of all elements, and should combine these elements in a manner that most effectively enables it to quantify its exposure to operational risk.

---The bank should have clear standards for the collection and modification of all elements, and combine these elements in a manner that most effectively enables it to quantify its exposure to operational risk.

I always want to repeat the modal auxiliary; it seems too hard to wade through the first long noun phrase and instantly remember that auxiliary when you hit the second base verb form. However, I have been informed that this type of repetition is "bad English."

Whaddya say?

--Nancy

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Create HTML or Microsoft Word content and convert to Help file formats or
printed documentation. Features include support for Windows Vista & 2007
Microsoft Office, team authoring, plus more.
http://www.DocToHelp.com/TechwrlList

True single source, conditional content, PDF export, modular help.
Help & Manual is the most powerful authoring tool for technical
documentation. Boost your productivity! http://www.helpandmanual.com

---
You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as kadkins -at- missouriwestern -dot- edu -dot-

To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-unsubscribe -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
or visit http://lists.techwr-l.com/mailman/options/techwr-l/kadkins%40missouriwestern.edu


To subscribe, send a blank email to techwr-l-join -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- Visit
http://www.techwr-l.com/ for more resources and info.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Create HTML or Microsoft Word content and convert to Help file formats or
printed documentation. Features include support for Windows Vista & 2007
Microsoft Office, team authoring, plus more.
http://www.DocToHelp.com/TechwrlList

True single source, conditional content, PDF export, modular help.
Help & Manual is the most powerful authoring tool for technical
documentation. Boost your productivity! http://www.helpandmanual.com

---
You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-

To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-unsubscribe -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
or visit http://lists.techwr-l.com/mailman/options/techwr-l/archive%40web.techwr-l.com


To subscribe, send a blank email to techwr-l-join -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- Visit
http://www.techwr-l.com/ for more resources and info.


References:
Repeat the verb?: From: Nancy Allison

Previous by Author: Re: Repeat the verb?
Next by Author: Re: Writing Corrective Actions for customers?
Previous by Thread: Re: Repeat the verb?
Next by Thread: RE: Repeat the verb?


What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:


Sponsored Ads