RE: How can I phrase this?

Subject: RE: How can I phrase this?
From: Fred Ridder <docudoc -at- hotmail -dot- com>
To: "techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2013 17:19:55 -0400

All of these rewordings would be fine if the OP were writing a document that the end user of the hearing aid would be reading. But that is *not* the case.

If you go back to Charlotte's original query, you will find that her company makes the software that an audiologist (or a technician working with one) uses to customize a hearing aid for the end user. The warning/instruction that Charlotte needs to write is the one that tells the *audiologist* that they need to inform the client/patient/end user about usage limitations (presumably when the device is configured to provide a large amount of amplification in some particular frequency band). Her user is the middle-man (oops, I'd better make that middle-person) in the process, and the end user is never going to see the message that her user does. The end user only sees the Instructions for Use, which the expert is supposed to modify with the usage limitation when applicable. There's little doubt that most or all of the language in the Instructions for Use has been heavily reviewed since it's the end-user document that would have to conform with FDA (and other?) regulations. Charlotte's task is to find a more emphatic way of instructing the hearing expert (*her* user) what to do to modify/augment it when a warning to the end user (patient/client) is needed.

-Fred Ridder

> From: lporrello -at- illumina -dot- com
> To: lauren -at- writeco -dot- net; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Subject: RE: How can I phrase this?
> Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2013 20:40:22 +0000
> Very nice (in general), and I would tweak it just a bit.
> WARNING: Your ear may be damaged if you wear the hearing aid for longer than the maximum number of hours per day specified in the xyz section of the Instructions for Use. If the maximum number of hours for safe use are not specified in your copy of the Instructions for Use, get this information from your prescribing specialist.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Lauren
> Sent: Monday, July 01, 2013 1:10 PM
> To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Subject: Re: How can I phrase this?
> On 7/1/2013 9:58 AM, Gene Kim-Eng wrote:
> > WARNING: Do not exceed the number of hours per day specified by the
> > hearing care specialist. If there is not a number specified, go GET
> > one from the specialist. Excessive use may cause injury to the patient.
> I prefer to avoid negatives and to write with actions a user must perform rather than those to avoid. So I would rephrase the warning for action and use the above warning with Keith's suggestions because he is correct about the lawsuit potential for using defective warnings.
> WARNING: Damage to the ear will occur when the hearing aid is worn for more than number of hours per day specified. Get the specific number of hours from the prescribing specialist when the hours are not specified.

New! Doc-to-Help 2013 features the industry's first HTML5 editor for authoring.

Learn more:


You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-

To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-leave -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- Visit for more resources and info.

Looking for articles on Technical Communications? Head over to our online magazine at

Looking for the archived Techwr-l email discussions? Search our public email archives @

Re: How can I phrase this?: From: Lauren
RE: How can I phrase this?: From: Porrello, Leonard

Previous by Author: RE: spec writing - is simple ever wrong ?
Next by Author: RE: FrameMaker Question
Previous by Thread: RE: How can I phrase this?
Next by Thread: Re: How can I phrase this?

What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:

Sponsored Ads