RE: How can I phrase this?

Subject: RE: How can I phrase this?
From: "Porrello, Leonard" <lporrello -at- illumina -dot- com>
To: Lauren <lauren -at- writeco -dot- net>, "techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2013 20:40:22 +0000

Very nice (in general), and I would tweak it just a bit.

WARNING: Your ear may be damaged if you wear the hearing aid for longer than the maximum number of hours per day specified in the xyz section of the Instructions for Use. If the maximum number of hours for safe use are not specified in your copy of the Instructions for Use, get this information from your prescribing specialist.

-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+lporrello=illumina -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Lauren
Sent: Monday, July 01, 2013 1:10 PM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: How can I phrase this?

On 7/1/2013 9:58 AM, Gene Kim-Eng wrote:
> WARNING: Do not exceed the number of hours per day specified by the
> hearing care specialist. If there is not a number specified, go GET
> one from the specialist. Excessive use may cause injury to the patient.

I prefer to avoid negatives and to write with actions a user must perform rather than those to avoid. So I would rephrase the warning for action and use the above warning with Keith's suggestions because he is correct about the lawsuit potential for using defective warnings.

WARNING: Damage to the ear will occur when the hearing aid is worn for more than number of hours per day specified. Get the specific number of hours from the prescribing specialist when the hours are not specified.

New! Doc-to-Help 2013 features the industry's first HTML5 editor for authoring.

Learn more:


You are currently subscribed to TECHWR-L as archive -at- web -dot- techwr-l -dot- com -dot-

To unsubscribe send a blank email to
techwr-l-leave -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

Send administrative questions to admin -at- techwr-l -dot- com -dot- Visit for more resources and info.

Looking for articles on Technical Communications? Head over to our online magazine at

Looking for the archived Techwr-l email discussions? Search our public email archives @


Re: How can I phrase this?: From: Lauren

Previous by Author: Re: "mock", not "mock-up", as a noun ?
Next by Author: Re: STC's Summit -at- aClick
Previous by Thread: Re: How can I phrase this?
Next by Thread: RE: How can I phrase this?

What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:

Sponsored Ads