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True: if you used a screen shot you could just say: 'Information is displayed in these tabs.'
Otherwise, I'd say that mentioning how many tabs there are is also not necessary; so the sentence could be stripped down to:
' The information is displayed in the Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details tabs'.
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+lynne -dot- wright=kronos -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com <techwr-l-bounces+lynne -dot- wright=kronos -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com> On Behalf Of Lin Laurie
Sent: Monday, January 7, 2019 1:58 PM
To: debora ames <deboraames -at- hotmail -dot- com>; tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: RE: Punctuation question
Obviously I have no context as you didn't provide any preceding text, but here are my thoughts when I saw your question:
1. Why do you need to state how the information is conveyed at all when a picture might be more helpful?
2. Could you change from passive to active voice to get rid of all the awkwardness of any of those choices? Information displays across five tabs: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
3. Definitely left to right is obvious so could be left out of the sentence, so I agree with Tammy but I'd try my other suggestions before keeping any of the structures you submitted.
This looks like it could be academic writing, which is the most passive writing there is (IMHO) and if so, you have constraints and likely option 3 is your best option.
Good luck.
Lin
-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+linlaurie1=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+linlaurie1=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of debora ames
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2019 10:42 AM
To: tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com; techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Re: Punctuation question
I would write it as: The information is displayed across five tabs which, from left to
right, are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
...because if you remove ", from left to right,", the sentence will still make sense.
________________________________
From: techwr-l-bounces+deboraames=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com <techwr-l-bounces+deboraames=hotmail -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com> on behalf of tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com <tammyvb -at- spectrumwritingllc -dot- com>
Sent: Monday, January 7, 2019 10:35 AM
To: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
Subject: Punctuation question
Consider the following three sentences:
1. The information is displayed across five tabs, which, from left to
right, are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
2. The information is displayed across five tabs, which from left to
right, are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
3. The information is displayed across five tabs, which from left to
right are the following: Overview, Category, Locus, Sequence, and Details.
Three different editors. Three different copy edits. I have my 'druthers,
but I thought I would reach out to all the writers on this list and get a
majority opinion. And yes, I am saying opinion, because I know that there is
an absolute right and wrong, but I need to be neutral and non-judgmental
when supplying my feedback and making the correction. Three egos are
involved. . . .
TVB
Tammy Van Boening
Tammy dot vanboening at spectrumwritingllc dot com
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