Instructions for Stupid People (was Allergic Reaction)

[Bonni Graham <Bonni_Graham_at_Enfin-SD -at- RELAY -dot- PROTEON -dot- COM>]

Len Olszewski, LaVonna Funkhouser, and Sue Gallagher shared some ludicrous
instructions:

<see previous messages for their info>

I, too, "collect" such weirdnesses. (No, you're all saying.  Not
_Bonni_ being _weird_!)

1) On a ceiling fan duster (one of the loop-shaped ones that fit over
the blade and dusts both sides) I gave my mother one year, step one (in
bold text) read:
   "Be sure to turn off fan before using."
I'm left wondering if the writer actually thought people wouldn't, or
if someone didn't and hurt themselves (no duh), and now legally they
have to include that instruction.

2) On the dryer I used to use at the local laudromat (now I have a
washer-dryer of my own):
   "Remove all metal, plastics, and rubber objects, PETS and SMALL
CHILDREN [capitals mine] before starting dryer."
Mental image:  "EEEK!!  Where's little Johnny/Fluffy?!"

I don't blame the companies inthese two cases -- they probably HAD to
include these instructions.  Suits are so common these days -- like the
woman somewhere in the southwest who brought her dog into the
supermarket, despite the sign forbidding animals in the store.  The dog
tangled its leash around her legs, knocking her into a stck of cans.
She was fairly seriously injured (I forget how).  She turned around and
sued the grocery store --and won-- because (drum roll please) the sign
wasn't in Spanish, and she didn't read English, so she was not fully
informed.  Therefore, the court ruled, the store was negligent.
ARRRGH!

Bonni Graham                               |
Technical Writer                           |
Easel Corporation, ENFIN Technology Lab    | Never tell people how to
Bonni_Graham_at_Enfin-SD -at- relay -dot- proteon -dot- com | do things.  Tell them
President, San Diego STC                   | what to do and they will
                                           | surprise you with their
NOTE: apparently my email address needs    | ingenuity.
to be typed exactly as it appears here,    |
punctuation and all, or the system gets    |          --George Patton
upset.                                     |