Re: screen voltage

[Len Olszewski <saslpo -at- UNX -dot- SAS -dot- COM>]

Michael Priestley worries that my suggestion may have shocking
consequences:

> Len Olszewski writes:
[...]
> >> What would you use in the following example  to replace "indicated"?
> >> Measure voltage at test point indicated on computer screen.
> >Eliminate it.
> >"Measure voltage using the test point on the computer screen."
[...]

> Hm - call me paranoid, but I have an image of the user doggedly poking the
> voltmeter at the screen in a futile attempt to comply.

> Come to think of it, a really bloody-minded user could choose to interpret
> the first sentence that way too, but I still think there is a semantic
> difference worth preserving between "shown on the screen" and "on the screen".

Well, it depends what you want to acheive I guess. Someone suggested
expanding the sentence and eliminating its terse, telegraphic style. If
you have that luxury, that would be a good move. If conciseness is what
you are after, and your audience is pretty smart about things like this,
my way is better. However, since physical damage seems possible in this
case, maybe we make the error on the side of wordiness, and say
something like

"Measure the voltage using the data on the computer screen for a test
point."

And you also eliminate whether the test point is "indicated", "shown",
or if it "appears".

|Len Olszewski, Technical Writer | "Hardcopy is the ultimate backup!" |
|saslpo -at- unx -dot- sas -dot- com|Cary, NC, USA|   -John Sanders                    |
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| Opinions this ludicrous are mine. Reasonable opinions will cost you.|