Re: Examples of bad technical writing

[Pat Gantt <pagantt -at- POSTOFFICE -dot- WORLDNET -dot- ATT -dot- NET>]

> A number of people has asked for examples of bad techwriting. I'm
> collecting such examples for teaching purposes, and here is a good
> one:

Not really. Far too many unnecessary words.
Aim for simplicity. Far too many articles.

Go with
action word, object. ONLY!

1. Press [Enter].
     or better yet,

1. Press [Enter]
      using the down left arrow symbol

vs.

1. Press the enter key.

Hopefully make the [Enter] look like the real
enter key using key fonts.

I taught this stuff.

> NOZZLE ASSEMBLY <in bold>
> At this stage of installation the burner is still disassembled from
> the blast tube; it is therefore possible to fit two nozzles with the
> box spanner (1), after having removed the plastic plugs (2), fitting
> the spanner through the central hole in the flame stability disk. Do
> not use any sealing products such as gaskets, sealing compound, or
> tape. Be careful to avoid damaging the nozzle sealing seat. The
> nozzles must be screwed into place tightly but not to the maximum
> torque value provided by the wrench.
>
> The nozzle for the 1st stage of operation is the one lying beneath the
> firing electrodes.
>
> (15 lines, 105 words, 510 characters, 30 long words, 7 sentences,
> LIX = 105/7+30/105*100 = 15.0+28.6 = 43.6.)
>
> Fortunately, my client allows me to rewrite the text completely if
> suitable. My version (translated back from my Danish version):
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Nozzle assembly <in bold>
> The stage 1 nozzle is placed below the spark gap.
> Avoid damaging the nozzle sealing seat.
> Do not use any sealing gaskets, compound, or tape.
>
> As the burner is not yet mounted on the blast tube:
> 1. Remove the plastic plugs (2).
> 2. Fit the two nozzles through the central hole in the flame stability
>    disk using the box spanner (1).
> 3. Screw the nozzles into place tightly but not to the wrench's
>    maximum torque.
>
> (14 lines, 77 words, 342 characters, 17 long words. 9 sentences.
> LIX = 77/9+17/77*100 = 8.6 + 22.0 = 30.6.)
>
> Greetings from Denmark
>
> Peter Ring
> PRC (Peter Ring Consultants)
> - specialists in user friendly manuals and audits on manuals.
> prc -at- isa -dot- dknet -dot- dk
> http://isa.dknet.dk/~prc/index.html
> - the "User Friendly Manuals" website with links, bibliography, list
>   of prof. associations, and tips for technical writers.
>
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--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best Regards,

Pat Gantt, VoTech Guide
Personal email ~ pagantt -at- worldnet -dot- att -dot- net
The University of Tennessee, M.S. HRD
VoTech Guide ~ The Mining Company
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http://votech.miningco.com
GO VOLS! Don't ask Peyton who!

 TECHWR-L (Technical Communication) List Information: To send a message
to 2500+ readers, e-mail to TECHWR-L -at- LISTSERV -dot- OKSTATE -dot- EDU -dot-  Send commands
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  Search the archives at http://www.documentation.com/  or search and
browse the archives at http://listserv.okstate.edu/archives/techwr-l.html