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Re: Friends at work? (was: Good interview questions) (fwd)
Subject:Re: Friends at work? (was: Good interview questions) (fwd) From:Betsy Perry <betsyp -at- VNET -dot- NET> Date:Mon, 28 Jul 1997 09:58:28 -0400
------- start of forwarded message -------
Quoth Pat Gantt <pagantt -at- postoffice -dot- worldnet -dot- att -dot- net>:
> Unfortunately to remain professional,
> one must draw a firm line between work and
> personal life.
Perhaps; however, the line suggested is draconian.
I think computers are some of the prettiest things people ever
invented. That being the case, I tend to enjoy talking to people who
share this belief, and who will happily debate the niceties of
language design with me. I am fortunate enough to work with many of
these people. Over years spent arguing, a few of my co-workers have
been promoted (or press-ganged) into friends; with these, I discuss not
only the manifold excellences of Smalltalk, but those of Shakespeare.
That doesn't mean I betray my friends' secrets to my employer, or vice
versa. Instead, my professional friends and I make it clear which
role we are playing when we talk. I have known that a friend was
job-hunting, but not mentioned it to his boss, because I had been told
as a friend, not as an employee. Contrariwise, I have known that a
friend was about to be laid off, but not told him, because I knew
about the layoff as an employee, not as a friend. And sometimes I
have flat-out kept my mouth shut, because anything I said would be
inappropriate.
As for worrying about my secrets being disclosed by friends, or about
sexual discrimination suits, any relationship risks betrayal. So far,
my judgment and my luck have held out. I don't think I'd be any more
aggrieved by betrayal by a co-worker than by betrayal by any other friend.
>Avoid people who don't make friends at work [anti-social]
I wonder if reactions to this question have something to do with
introversion versus extroversion? My suspicion is that the originnal
interviewer was an extrovert who wanted the employees to be "one big
happy family" and distrusted loners. I have had excellent colleagues
who were loners; their managers wisely assigned them to projects which
took advantage of their self-sufficiency. In a big enough ecosystem,
there's room for many different kinds of fish.
--
Betsy Hanes Perry
--
Elizabeth Hanes Perry betsyp -at- vnet -dot- net
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