Re: Challenging and oppressive SME situation

["Marshall, Elizabeth" <BMarshall -at- WCOM -dot- NET>]

First, have you tried talking to the SME face to face about this?

It is the bully syndrome.  If you confront her in a non-apologetic by
not confrontational way and say, "We need to work together on this
project . You (the SME) can either let me (meaning you) do my job and
make this project look good for you or you can work against me and have
this project fail." Tell her that to complete this project on time, you
need X, Y, and Z from her by this date and if she can't do it you both
need to work on a compromise right now." Once you have had this
discussion, summarize it in email and send it to her, her boss and your
boss as an action plan. Let everyone know what is expected and who is
responsible for what.

I had a client who used to walk all over me with demands and little digs
about my inability to do my job until I called her bluff.  I knew I knew
what I was doing, but she was unorganized and didn't have a clue.  When
you don't have clue the best plan seems to be to make someone else look
bad so you look good. In a polite way, I said "This is how we are going
to do this..."

I don't think that you have change what you wear, but you need to have
confidence in your voice when you talk with her, keep your shoulders
back and look her square in the eyes. Oh yeah, keep your chin up.

I stopped using words like "could" and started using "will" and started
using phrases like "When I get X, I will do X." I followed up every
conversation with an email that said "this is what we discussed today...
and the action plan we agreed on ... if you disagree let me know today."
I am sure she was a little startled at first and was so shocked that she
didn't know what to do the first time, but agree with me.  We worked
together for years after that and I feel we had a very successful
working relationship as she would request to work with me on projects.
You need to show her that you will stand up for yourself and you will
call her on the carpet if she really wants to play hard ball with you.

Second, I think it is a good idea to talk with your boss, but don't go
and just complain about her.  I found that I was using words like "sorry
to bother you with this" when I wanted assistance from my boss and that
is how it was interpreted, as a bother.  I had the most wonderful
mentor, Fritz, tell me that he didn't care what problem I came to him
with as long as I came with a solution as well. Even when it was a
stupid solution, it showed him that I was serious and wanted to take
responsibility for what was happening around me.  Tell your boss that
you having difficulty with this SME but this is how you are going to
handle it. And that your boss should be prepared to get email from you
with the status of this project and be prepared to back you up (with
your documentation how the project was delayed) when you are forced to
confront the SME's boss with the SME's unprofessional behavior.  You
aren't asking your boss to solve this for you, but you are keeping him
up-to-date on the situation. Before you talk to your boss you may want
to write up a project history.

Hope this helps!


 From ??? -at- ??? Sun Jan 00 00:00:00 0000=