Re: Challenging and oppressive SME situation

[Tom Johnson <johnsont -at- FREEWAY -dot- NET>]

Dear Name Withheld,

Wow, what a dilemma and a huge pile of rational responses.

Geoff Hart said in one of his posts, "Better by far to save a lost soul and
learn to coexist than to damn her to hell without a chance to be saved."

He's right. Every human has significance and is worth saving. We don't know
what has possessed this woman. Whatever it is can be disposed of, but you
don't necessarily need to dispose of her. Maybe you remind her of someone
that caused her a lot of grief. Show her you aren't that person. Show her
you can be compassionate. Maybe she just needs a friend. Smother her with
kindness. As many people have suggested over the years, give the SME
cookies. Showing someone you can be a friend can go a long ways. It is a
radical approach, I know, but what have you got to lose (besides an enemy).
It may take time, but I believe the two of you will find it is possible to
forgive and move on.

An analogy you might want to think of is a piece of antique furniture. My
 wife and I have a couple of ugly old chairs. When you sit down on them,
your pants stick to the crinkled old varnish. You can't see the wood grain
under the layers of dark, sticky mess. Underneath is the beautiful grain of
white oak, just waiting to be exposed. The chiars are irritating to sit on
or look at now, but wait until we're through carefully removing the crusty
exterior. Eventually, those chairs will grace our dining room (along with a
beautiful oak table that was also once rough and ugly) instead of hiding in
the basement.

Disclaimer: This method will be less effective if you try to sink her
first.

Tom Johnson
(who believes nobody is hopeless and regrets not learning that sooner)
(who is restoring a "junk" piano in his precious spare time)

business johnsont -at- starcutter -dot- com
personal tjohnson -at- grandtraverse -dot- com




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