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Subject:Re: Some Help With Re-phrasing From:Darla Kennington <Darla -at- ACCUBID -dot- COM> Date:Thu, 22 Oct 1998 13:58:03 -0400
While I like this one the most so far, I tend to emphasize the task the
user wants to perform by putting it first. That is why I would say,
To display a new Job View window, double-click any entry in the Summary
window.
Darla
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Holder, LuAnne [SMTP:lholder -at- SOTA -dot- COM]
> Sent: October 22, 1998 9:38 AM
> To: TECHWR-L -at- LISTSERV -dot- OKSTATE -dot- EDU
> Subject: Some Help With Re-phrasing
>
> You wrote:
>
> I'm having a problem with correct wording. I'm trying to
> convert
> a passive-voice document to active voice. Here's the phrase I'm
> having trouble with:
>
> While the Summary window is displayed, you can double-click
> any entry shown in the Summary window. This action causes
> the system to display a new Job View window for this job.
>
> How about:
>
> In the Summary window, double-click an entry to display a new
> Job View
> window.
>
>
> LuAnne
> lholder -at- sota -dot- com
>
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