HUMOR: Please, God, Help Me

Subject: HUMOR: Please, God, Help Me
From: Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- YAHOO -dot- COM>
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1999 00:48:50 -0800

I have a few questions for the list. Sorry if they seem a little
dumb. I am a newbie to this list and I am incapable of using the
archives.

What is that thing that goes at the end of sentences? Not that
squiggly thing, the little little dot thing. Gosh, I have looked in
all my help files and cannot find the name of that anywhere.

Also, I just started working for a small, worthless company. Tell me
all the software, hardware, office supplies, and lunch items I should
buy. I have been thinking about a ham and swiss for lunch, but
someone said the meatball sub was an industry standard. Also, please
have a lengthy debate about FrameMaker vs Word. Personally, I think
people who use Word are sub-human scum unworthy of eating from plates
or mating with the opposite sex. But, you know, that is just my
opinion. I want to hear everyone else's.

Should I get the Pirelli P4000 SuperTouring P205/50VR-16 or the Dunlop
SP Sport for my 1993 Ford Crown Victoria?

How do you spell Armaggedon? Spectacular? Immobile? Syphilitic Moron?

Also, my company does have much experience with technical
communication. Could you send me all your style guides and templates?
I would really appreciate the help. Make sure to send them in a UNIX
tar file and break them up into 30K files only. Our Internet provider
won't support more than that.

How do you install Solaris 2.3.1? I know the part about unwrapping
the CD-ROM but I get lost after that. You can respond to my personal
email. Please keep the instructions brief.

Oh, another thing, I am taking a survey on the types of undergarments
technical communicators wear. Could everyone please send me a pair of
their underware. I need it for a class I am taking at the community
college "Dr. Foster's Undie Party 101."

Lastly, I wrote a 10,000 page essay on the nature of toejam. Could you
please read it an provide detailed feedback. I really need to get it
edited before next Monday. You can see it on-line (a 25.90 MB PDF
file)at http://www.virus_server_1.com

Thanks everyone on the list for your help. I am really looking
forward to being a member of this list. From what I hear, everyone is
really helpful.

Don Jorkfabber
Senior Vapid Technical Pecker
CowMash Inc.


-------------------------------------------------

Oh, how can you be in two places at once, when you're not anywhere at
all!

Andrew Plato
_________________________________________________________
DO YOU YAHOO!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com


From ??? -at- ??? Sun Jan 00 00:00:00 0000=



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