EuroEnglish...

["Mathena, Michael" <MMathena -at- SPHERECOM -dot- COM>]

> Try zis one !
>
> Subject:      EuroEnglish...
>
> The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
> been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
> communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
> As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
> English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
> five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish ("Euro"
> for short).
>
> In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
> Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the
> hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
> konfusion, but typewriters kan have one fewer letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
> "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters,
> which have  always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
> agre that the  horible mes silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful,
> and they would go.
>
> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
> "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
>
> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
> kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
> kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl
> riten styl. Zer  vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil
> find it ezi tu  understand ech ozer.
>
> Ze drem vil finali kum tru :-)
>
>
> Horst Unger
> Voice Network Operations
> Province of British Columbia
> Tel 250.387.4425  Fax -3881


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