Re: Some Help With Re-phrasing

Subject: Re: Some Help With Re-phrasing
From: "McGroarty, Lisa" <LMcGroarty -at- CIBER -dot- COM>
Date: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 07:38:03 -0600

Debra Cooper wrote:
> I'm having a problem with correct wording. I'm trying to convert
a passive-voice document to active voice. Here's the phrase I'm
having trouble with:

While the Summary window is displayed, you can double-click
any entry shown in the Summary window. This action causes
the system to display a new Job View window for this job.>

You have several options, but I'd go for the most concise:

"While displaying the Summary window, double-click any entry. The
system displays a new Job View window for the job."

Just be careful that you follow the the "while" construction by a
phrase whose subject is understood to be "you." Hope this helps!

Lisa McGroarty
Sr. Consultant
CIBER Information Systems/reVISIONS Information Design Group
Harrisburg, PA
lmcgroarty -at- ciber -dot- com

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